something lost

What the fuck is happening with me
with my mind
with my heart?

Like a tatty vulnerable loser trying to heal things in vain feeling so distance with all of the beloveds realizing distance can be sth so vast having power to do so much heart breakings and inevitable fear. All of a sudden knowing that makes the soul down so damed weak, like hastling it into throwing away the fences for the tears to come out hoping it helps. As it does not, once again feel weaker and weaker among over sensitve spirits, somehow turning out to be questioning back whether being sentimental is good still or just stupid naive heart.

And i just want to know, am I doing right or not?
Because I feel lost
so lost
now..